Setting Boundaries Part II: Determining Your Priorities

Setting Boundaries with Misophonia Part II: Determining Your Priorities

Your time is a container, and it will always be filled with something.

There are only so many hours in a day, and it can be a struggle for anyone to cram in all the tasks we need to accomplish to survive: working, eating, showering,cleaning, commuting.

With misophonia, being around activators drains energy that could be applied to these basic responsibilities, requiring more time for rest and self-care. So, you’re left with limited time for hobbies and social outings. To fit in what you want to do alongside our added rest time requires setting boundaries.

But how can you decide what to sacrifice among so many options?

That requires determining what is important to you. Reflect on your own life: what types of activities currently fill your schedule?

Creating a Priority Pyramid can help you choose what to do. [image by the author]

What kind of person do you desire to be? Which activities drive you to get out of bed in the morning, which feel like obligations, and which cause you cognitive dissonance? Now focus on the former category; the purpose of setting boundaries is to make more time for these activities that are enjoyable for you.

This blank Priority Pyramid is for your use. [image by the author]

Once you’ve determined what fills your life, develop a priority pyramid to organize where you’d like it all to fall. Whenever someone asks something of you—e.g., to join their DnD club every Thursday evening—be cautious of the automatic “sure” for fear of saying no to friends. Instead, refer to your priority pyramid, and follow the boundary chart, which essentially asks: do you have anything better to do?

A Boundary Chart like this one will be a handy reminder of how to determine what you choose to do and what you decide to pass on. [image by the author]

Knowing where your priorities fall may help you say no more often to fluff that can stuff your schedule and leave you stabby and exhausted after extra time spent on outings that feel like work; focus on what is important to you, and make sure to include rest.

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Setting Boundaries Part III: Explaining Yourself